HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT

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As I'm writing this post, half of me is like "yes girl this exactly what you need, this is gonna be life changing, you go Glen Coco" and then half of me is like "Oh go and get a grip you massive loser", because this post was prompted by what I can only call an "Elle First world problem" that gave me all the FOMO - that's fear of missing out Mum - and I kinda hate myself for it.

Let's discuss said f**king ridiculous slightly silly situation. I was tapping away at my emails when a PR messaged inviting me to a really lovely event with a brand that I love and an overnight stay in a beautiful London hotel. I then went on to receive a message asking me about a press trip (that started two days after getting the email, lols for the blogging world being late AF) that actually sounded really fun but I had to turn them down.

Oh so that's why you had fomo, sitting in your PJ's watching Harry Potter whilst everyone else is having all the LOLs is quite depressing, I totally get it...

But here's the bloody thing, I won't be in my PJ's having the worst time of my life, I'll be in bloody Ibiza on a trip of my own, in a beautiful new place to explore, eating everything that I can get my hands on (yeah you better believe that I go all inclusive [insert sassy/pig emoji here]. 

So why, why did I feel like I was missing out so much even though I'd be having an amazing time myself, on a beautiful island, with my best friend/fiance?

The answer to that question is simply - and really unhelpfully - I have no frickin idea. But what I do have however, is some tips and tricks to hopefully help you to not suffer with the fear of missing out as much as I do, because I know I am most definitely not alone in this. And whilst I haven't by any means conquered fomo, I'm so much better at dealing with it.

Said tips and tricks/life advice/verbal diarrhoea that I hope will be vaguely helpful... 

Is it really that important/exciting?

I know it sounds like common sense - pretty sure Einstein's not worrying that I'll take his intelligence crown - but is what you're missing out on really that important or exciting. So many times I'll have to turn down blogging events because I'm too busy (or simply just didnt get invited to them) and I always have those "Ahh jesus, better stay off twitter because my self esteem/fomo levels are gonna be down on the floor" feels, but really, would I actually rather be there, or would I rather stay at home, be productive and get work done topped off with a dose of Prison Break and Hot chocolate? More often than not I'd actually rather just be at home with Dan and my family chilling but it's the thought of missing out, rather than the actual missing out itself that bothers me. 

Take a moment to appreciate what you are doing, focus on you

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm all "ahhh look at all those babes whisked off to the Maldives but it's absolutely fine because I'm watching Jeremy Kyle with a bowl of gluten free cornflakes so ya know, sucks to be them right now". But what I do know is that you never truly know what's going on in somebody else's life so whilst you feel like you're missing out on these amazing things that everybody else is doing, remember that behind closed doors they could be really unhappy. Basically, scrap everyone else and focus on what you are doing because who knows, all of that hard work instead of moping might actually get you to be where they are.

Embrace every opportunity and turn them into something amazing

I spoke about my fear of last minute changes and having to adjust before and I can honestly say that looking back now, I've turned down so many opportunities through being scared and just not having the balls to push myself to do it, and regretting those things have really pushed me into being a "Yes" person. No matter how scary something is, push yourself to do it anyway because you never know where that might lead to. Also, just because an event or an opportunity doesn't sound like it's going to be completely life changing, turn it into something life changing. You get out of life what you put in, so give everything your best shot and reap the rewards.

Or, just like, go and buy yourself an Honest Burger and wallow in self pity if everything still goes to shit.

Remember that someone always feels that way about you

I'll never forget when I tweeted that I was having one of those hormonal "omg my blog's so rubbish compared to so and so, and should I just give up I'm totally useless" days - with a jar of nutella in tow because, obvs - and I received 5 messages from (the biggest babes and) fellow bloggers saying that that was how they felt looking at my blog (I mean, my Mum probs paid them to say it, but still) and I'll never forget how a) absolutely amazing it made me feel and b) the realisation that there is always somebody that looks up to you and wants to be doing what you are doing. So always remember that, because it's actually really heartwarming. Almost like a hug from Hagrid or something...

Get perspective and realise you're probably being a bit of a dick

This is probably my favourite and most "me" point. As much as I totally get how you're feeling and believe me, I feel it every single day; we do need to get perspective and realise that there's much more going on in the world which is so much more important and really, not going to that jazzy event and fearing missing out is a little bit silly isn't it. Basically, that's my subtle way of saying, we're being dicks!

Lols, love ya really, please don't abandon my blog [insert cry laughter/"no but seriously I love you" emoji here]

If you're still feeling the fomo do something about it.

Finally, if after these tips and tricks you still feel like you're really missing out - i.e, it was totally unhelpful for you - then do something about it. If you're missing out because you wasn't invited to something, you didn't get the job, you couldn't afford the holiday... do something about it. Work your little butt off, put the effort in and don't give up until you are doing all of those things and more. And if you're missing out because you're scared... please just say Yes! Only you can change your life, nobody else can do it for you.

So that wraps up my "I'd much rather be doing that amazing thing but I'm not so I'm gonna do my best to not feel like utter crap about it and hopefully it'll help you too" post. I really really hope you enjoyed it and found it useful. Please leave me any tips and thought about the fear of missing out, I would love to hear your thoughts on this :)

As always, thanks so much for reading!

xx

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