Despite only being "on Youtube" for a matter of weeks, I've actually been a part of the whole YouTube community for many years now. I discovered beauty and fashion vloggers around 6/7 years ago - way before there was even such a thing as "big vloggers", or before YouTube had the potential to be a job - and absolutely delighted in coming home from school and chilling out to the likes of Laura (formerly Lollipop 26 on YT) and the Pixiwoo sisters.
Be right back, just mourning my youth and caking on some anti-wrinkle cream as I now feel sufficiently ancient.
I absolutely loved it, I loved watching their channels grow, the quality of video's sky rocket and discovering new people to watch as the years went on, but reflecting back does kinda' fill me with regret that I didn't start my channel sooner. I am a firm believer in the fact that there is room for everybody in the blogging/vlogging world, however I do often torture myself over not starting out when my obsession began because who knows where I might have been now. (Probs not making video's that only my Mum watches [insert "just kidding"/"no, but seriously" emoji's here]).
But before I unleash every single violin in existence and indulge my pity party, this post is not about regrets, it's about the things that I've discovered since being on YouTube - good and bad - and ultimately, a little fan girl over just how incredible YouTube really is.
Said discoveries.
You will judge yourself more harshly than ever before - I am my own worst critic in every possible way, so this YouTube discovery isn't really the greatest. Seeing yourself on screen, in HD, in harsh - or non existent - lighting makes your flaws clear for all to see. Now, I was by no means oblivious to said flaws before YouTube but it is slightly terrifying to pick out the flaws staring back at you, and then realise you're putting those out there for all to see. But you know what... As much as this should probably knock my confidence even more, it's kinda just made me embrace the flaws. Kinda given me a "fuck it, they're there and there's nothing I can do about them" attitude and for that, I am truly grateful. Never did I think I would put my makeup free face on the Internet without a care in the world, but I have, so that's a bit of a revelation in itself. #YouTubeFanGirlForevz
Your eyebrows/eyeliner flicks are never on fleek - Following on from the previous comment, I have come to the conclusion that my eyebrows and liner will never be on fleek. I have also come to the conclusion that hearing yourself say fleek out loud (even in a totally piss-taking way) will make you want to punch yourself in the face.
You will never ever please everyone - This is not a YouTube discovery; blogging and just... life, made me realise this, however I think YouTube just highlights this on a pretty major scale. The ability to "Like" or "Dislike" pisses me off bothers me slightly because here's the thing... I would never even dream of disliking a video. If it was a horrible/hate video, I wouldn't watch it. If I found it slightly boring/not my thing, I'd stop watching. Because what people may (which is even worse) or may not realise is that video's take a hell of a lot of time, effort, and balls to put together, so a silly "dislike" can feel like the biggest kick in the teeth. I am not an overly sensitive person - #IceQueenProblems - but I can't help but find it a tad demoralising. I am much better at laughing this off now, but to begin with I'd question my entire video "What did they hate?" "Should I have bleeped out the swear word?". Conclusion = You will never please everyone, so swear as much as you like, say what you bloody well want and just make content that makes you happy.
Damn, I have really got my sassy pants on today, haven't I? [insert sassy girl with hand in the air emoji here]
You will rediscover the joy of learning new skills - Making videos - be it for YouTube or not - takes skill. Creating the content, filming the video itself, editing the video, even learning how to upload it to YouTube... they're all skills that you learn along the way and I absolutely love the fact that I'm learning new skills whilst also falling in love with a new hobby. I mean, it doesn't really get much better than that, right? (Well, maybe doing all of these things and then someone offering to send you on holiday to New York whilst you're at it too... ;) )
Embrace the sense of achievement, feel proud! - One thing that I'm truly awful at is sitting back and recognising any achievements (got out of bed today, 100% should've thrown a party) I make. Now, I'm not saying that I've achieved things with my channel, jeez I really am just beginning, but after finally sucking it up, growing some balls and pressing upload after years of wanting to do it but being too much of a pussy to but never actually doing it, that in itself is something I feel proud of.
I don't
really know where
this whole YouTube thing will lead, or whether it will lead anywhere at all (chances are it probably won't) but what I do know is that 5 weeks ago I decided to film a video alongside my
full time blogger post, and in those 5 weeks I have absolutely adored carrying on making videos and I am
totally overwhelmed by the support so far. I set myself a goal to *attempt* to reach 100 subscribers by the end of the year, so the fact that
I'm nearing 500 has totally blown me away.
Thank you for your support, thank you for indulging this long suppressed little hobby of mine... and thank you for seeing that I am a bit of a twat IRL and still carrying on reading this blog anyway ;)
As always, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this post!
xx
Labels: Lifestyle, Personal, Youtube
